Stop Fighting About Money! Experts Reveal the Secret to Becoming a Financial Power Couple
The Real Reason You Argue About Cash
It's the number one stressor for couples and the silent argument happening in households across the country: money. But what if the key to ending the financial friction in your relationship wasn't about budgets and spreadsheets, but something much deeper?
Financial power couple Doug and Heather Boneparth are pulling back the curtain on what it truly takes to achieve financial harmony. In a recent discussion on the The Long View podcast, the co-authors of the new book Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team revealed that most couples are starting in the wrong place.
Doug, a certified financial planner and founder of Bone Fide Wealth, and Heather, a former lawyer who now works alongside him, argue that before you can even think about merging bank accounts, you need to understand each other's pasts.
Unlocking Your Partner's "Money History"
According to the Boneparths, every individual has a unique "money history"—a complex backstory of beliefs, experiences, and habits shaped by childhood and early adult life. This financial DNA dictates how you view debt, spending, and saving. Ignoring it is a recipe for conflict.
"It's so important for couples to understand their own money histories," the experts explained. Do you come from a family that saved every penny, or one that lived paycheck to paycheck? Was money a source of security or constant stress? Understanding your partner's financial upbringing is the critical first step to finding fairness and building a solid foundation. Skipping this conversation means you're just treating the symptoms, not the underlying cause of your disagreements.
From History to Harmony
Once you've laid your financial cards on the table, you can begin the real work of becoming an "unstoppable financial team." This involves tackling the big questions together, such as defining what "enough" means for your shared life. Is it a comfortable retirement, traveling the world, or funding a passion project? Aligning on a common vision transforms money from a source of division into a tool for achieving shared dreams.
This foundational work makes the practical decisions, like whether to fully merge finances, keep them separate, or create a hybrid system, much simpler. The Boneparths stress that the goal isn't just to manage money, but to build a future together with intention and mutual respect. By confronting the past and defining the future, couples can finally stop fighting about money and start building their empire together.
